My thoughts do not mean anything…
The thoughts we each are aware of, are our own ‘private’ thoughts, about our own personal lives… And since in truth, minds are joined, having never left the mind that thought/created them: God, the thoughts we have always believed we were thinking, are not really thinking… Rather, they are imaging our illusion of separate lives of subject and object…
This is a crucial aspect to face as we begin the journey home. We question every belief and value and thought which we now identify with. Questioning what this thing is which we think we are and where think we are… Without exception, we find that everything we ever thought about ourselves and the world around us is, at the very least, subjective…
Here’s my experience: Not one idea I held as solid stands up to the miracle, each in its turn has betrayed itself… And this was the whole of my thought system. ~Talk about disillusioning~ All the “all important” thinking about what to be, to do, to say, what I should have said, what ‘they’re’ thinking, what ‘they’re’ feeling, what happened, what should have happened, what’s going to happen if, if not…blah, blah, blah… Through every aspect of the examination, as each was ‘all said and done’, what happened to it? Where did it go? Each was apparently consumed, only to be replaced by the next ‘important’ thought. The one similarity in all of them being that each had the purpose of defining the world for me, and therefore, of defining my self. It was merely a distraction from my real purpose ~ a delay in time, which too in the end, means nothing.
“I do not know the thing I am, and therefore do not know what I am doing, where I am, or how to look upon the world or on myself.” (T-31.V.17.7)
…This idea will help release me from all that I now believe…
At times I have felt so defeated and stupid, and at a loss to ever “get it.” The Light of recognition I experienced immediately upon engaging the Course, and feeling a sense of ‘home’ for an instant, has been a constant beacon at these times. So naturally I began developing an incessant habit of engaging with God through choosing to listen to the Holy Spirit, watch my mind and question every value and belief that arises… This has been my mainstay. As the course says:
“To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold. Not one can be kept hidden and obscure but it will jeopardize your learning. No belief is neutral. Every on has the power to dictate each decision you make. For a decision is a conclusion based on everything that that you believe.” (T-24.2: 1-5)
Here’s what I have found. My willingness has been enough to lean in the true direction.
I have become willing to see ~ and allow my real thoughts, of which I can’t define, but which I do, absolutely, observe through relationships ~in the temperament of peace and joy and oneness.
The need to think I think, to define, to plan, etc. has eased up. And it has become more automatic to come to life with an ‘open mind’ and empty hands.
Alas~ so much lovelier ~
(…and of course these thoughts on this page don’t mean anything, either …but, ah, I do love this feeling, sharing them with you)
You are my thought of love, forever and ever ~
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